Yesterday as I was shoveling the driveway I had to smile thinking about how my husband and I were throwing gender rolls out the window. I was outside shoveling and he was inside watching our chidren (the arrangement was my idea). As I chuckled about that to myself, I started thinking about teamwork in marriage.
*Before I go any further I want to make it very clear that Mr. and I are not perfect. We have come to these thoughts because we have been striving to better our own lives. The positive things we do stem from lots of prayer, talking, and hard work. We, as everyone else in the world, have a long way to go.
Mr. and I make a pretty good team. We both take on our share of responsibility and we both help each other in our roles within the family. We also work together. We do dishes, laundry, cleaning the family room, etc together. We have found that working together eliminates a lot of selfishness. When you work together it makes it impossible for thoughts like "ugh I wish she/he would do her/his chore" "I wish they pulled their weight" "I wish they did this a different way" "I did his/her chore for them. They owe me."
Working together also gives us time to talk and improve.
The above is just a small part of selfishness that can enter into a marriage. So instead of touching on every other situation I will just leave the following quotes below.
Marriage topic on lds.org
>" Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither person exercising dominion over the other, but with each encouraging, comforting, and helping the other"
> "Couples should work together to manage their finances and cooperate in establishing and following a budget. Wise money management and freedom from debt contribute to peace in the home."
Building an Eternal Marriage Manual
> “Be determined in one mind and in one heart, united in all things” (2 Nephi 1:21).
>Marriage allows [our] different characteristics to come together in oneness—in unity—to bless a husband and wife, their children and grandchildren." in Conference Report, Oct. 1996, 101; or Ensign, Nov. 1996, 74; student manual, 345)
> "Selfishness can act as a wedge in marriage. It manifests itself in a variety of ways."
I encourage all of you to find the wedges of selfishness in your lives and remove them.
"Selfishness is the antithesis of love."
--President Gordon B. Hinckley
